blood on the tracks

My trip to see St. Paul (Westerberg)

So I left Thursday evening to go see Paul Westerberg for two nights in Minneapolis....home of Westerberg, Dylan, Prince, Trip Shakespeare.

I have always wanted to go there and actually see him in his hometown and with a band was too much to pass up.

We left Thursday evening and had a relatively uneventful 7 hour drive until I decided it was time to get some sleep. We stopped at a lovely Red Roof Inn and caught some shuteye.

Got up the next morning and headed for Minneapolis. Got into town and went to our this-time-I-mean-it lovely hotel.

 

Strangely enough due to Adrienne's diligence and Priceline we paid less for this 4-star hotel in downtown Minneapolis then we did for the Red Roof Inn the night before.

There was a gathering before hand for "WesterNerds" at Lee's Liquor Lounge. It was a group of people from the Men Without Ties website. I didn't really know anyone but we got to talking to a guy who lived in St Paul and knew all the history of Minneapolis and the scene.

Lee's is a great bar. Wood paneling, red lights, strong drinks. Some guy was passing out  CD's from the recent Westerberg show in London. I've never had the pleasure to be around anyone more worked up about Westerberg than me. Met Kathy the woman who runs the Westerberg site.

Now off to the show. So I have possibly the WORST seats of anyone in the whole place. I'm not exaggerating...back row of the back balcony. The guy we met at Lee's didn't have a ticket and was hanging out front of the Pantages looking for scalpers. I found a guy willing to trade my tickets in the back plus $30 for 6th row seats. Considering I bought the back row tickets for half off face value I got 6th row tickets for less than the price of two regulars.

 

The show was amazing. The band was tight...almost too tight for me. The usual Westerberg sloppiness and danger seemed to be missing a bit. Michael Bland, the ex drummer from Prince was a giant on drums. They sounded great and Westerberg was singing wonderfully.

Paul Westerberg and the Painkillers *
5 November 2004
Pantages Theater - Minneapolis, MN
* = Kevin Bowe (guitars, vocals), Jim Boquist (bass, vocals), Michael Bland (drums)

Waiting For Somebody
Final Hurrah
Kiss Me On The Bus
My Dad
AAA
Achin’ To Be
Mr Rabbit (Kevin Bowe on mandolin)
Making Me Go
Let The Bad Times Roll
As Far As I Know
Little Mascara
Valentine
High Time
new song ?? (solo electric)
Sadly Beautiful (solo acoustic 12 string)
Crackle & Drag (solo acoustic 12 string)
If Only You Were Lonely (solo acoustic 12 string)
Lookin’ Up In Heaven (acoustic w/ band)
What A Day (For A Night) (acoustic w/ band)
Love Untold (PW on electric 12 string)
I Will Dare (PW on electric 12 string)
I Think I Love You (Partridge Family cover)
Alex Chilton
Left Of The Dial

ENCORE
MPLS (PW on blues harp)
I’ll Be You
Folk Star / Jingle
Only A Hobo (Dylan cover)
Can’t Hardly Wait

At one point we got by security and up to the front of the stage...then I got depressed...

Westerberg's songs sound fairly simple at first. But watching him play that close up I realized what an amazing guitar player he is. So much nuance and idiosyncrasies. He also uses lot's of alternate tunings which made it nearly impossible to understand what the hell he was doing. I was humbled.

His solo music which I have always loved held up as well as any of the Replacements stuff. Lot's of people think the solo stuff isn't any good but they aren't listening closely enough or with too much baggage.

I left in a fairly quiet and thoughtful mood. We walked by Minneapolis legendary First Avenue club. It closed recently but hopefully it will reopen and I can visit. Here's how cool Minneapolis is...the Sunday paper on the cover had an article about the club closing as well as a blurb about the Pixies on the cover of the entertainment section. It'd be like the Dispatch having a cover story when Stache's closed. The mayor was even quoted talking about First Avenue. I can;t see Mayor Michael Coleman and I checking out the Silver Jews at Little Brothers but who knows. I did recently see him at a Halloween party.

We walked back to Lee's wanting another drink but it was a $6 cover to go back in. We walked back to the hotel and called it a night.

I got up the next AM and headed out to see Minneapolis. Adrienne wasn't feeling so hot so she stayed home. I caught a cab first to the Uptown Bar where Tommy and Bob Stinson's mother tends bar. The Replacements used to play there regularly also. They are known for their Bloody Mary's in the morning and i can safely say that I've never seen so many people drinking in the morning in my life.

 

The bummer is I lost Adrienne's camera in the back of the cab on the way over. So I lost all the pictures from Friday night. We had some great shots from the show as well.

I hit all the local record stores as well as the CC Club a regular Replacements hangout. 

The house where the cover shot of Let It Be was taken:

 

So it was on to the show Saturday night. Adrienne and I made a mad dash an hour before the show to buy her some clothes. I decided she's look good in a short short skirt and some black tights. And she did look great.

 

Tried to get better seats tonight also but the scalper wanted another $100 for front row so we went to our balcony seats. There were nimrod assholes all around talking while they played early on. It's like talking through church. I almost dragged out my asshole side and hit some heads together. Finally I decided it was time to see if we could get upfront again. The security was having none of it though but we ducked into a row with a few empty seats about 10 rows back and watched most of the show from there. The band and Westerberg were even better this night. They were looser and played much more intensely I thought.

Paul Westerberg and the Painkillers *
6 November 2004
Pantages Theater - Minneapolis, MN
* = Kevin Bowe (guitars, vocals), Jim Boquist (bass, vocals), Michael Bland (drums)

Dust My Broom (Elmore James cover)
Waiting For Somebody
Final Hurrah
Kiss Me on the Bus
My Dad
AAA (with bits of Anyway’s All Right)
Mr. Rabbit (up tempo country-rock version) (Bowe on mandolin)
Making Me Go
No Place For You
Now I Wonder
As Far As I Know
Born For Me
High Time
Little Mascara
Sky way (solo acoustic 12 string)
Things (solo acoustic 12 string)
Crackle and Drag (solo acoustic 12 string)
Lookin’ Up in Heaven (acoustic 12 string with band)
What a Day (For a Night) (acoustic 12 string with band)
Waitress in the Sky (acoustic 12 string with band)
First Glimmer (electric 12 string with band)
I Will Dare (electric 12 string with band)
I.O.U.
Never mind

ENCORE 1
MPLS (PW on blues harp) >
It’s All Over Now (Stones cover, actually originally done by Bobby Womack)
Knockin’ On Mine
Can’t Hardly Wait


ENCORE 2
Alex Chilton
Left of the Dial

Alex Chilton, IOU and Nevermind were absolutely over the top and the crowd was going crazy. Skyway acoustic was beautiful. As Far as I Know from Stereo was amazing also. I left the show dazzled and stunned. Confirmation for my contention that Westerberg is the king.

We waited outside a bit to see if he'd come out but after about 10 minutes I got tired of waiting. We stopped by the 400 Bar another former Replacements playing area. This is hanging on the wall:

 

On the way back we stopped to see if there was anyone out back of the Pantages...and sure enough there was Westerberg hanging out talking to a small handful of friends. Got him to sign my ticket and we goofed around a bit.

 

We woke up early the next morning and made the agonizingly long drive home. 13 hours......yikes. Worth every bit of it....

The Day of the Dead

"America our nation has been beaten by strangers who have turned our language inside out who have taken the clean words our fathers spoke and made them slimy and foul

their hired men sit on the judge's bench they sit back with their feet on the tables under the dome of the State House they are ignorant of our beliefs they have the dollars the guns the armed forces the power plants

they have built the electric chair and hired the executioner to throw the switch

all right we are two nations."

John Dos Passos

Ok...we lost the other day, at least on paper. I spent yesterday in total shock and despair. Ready to move out of the country, or at least to a blue state. I felt like a foreigner in my own country.

After spending a week where I did almost nothing except work to get out the vote for Kerry it was a shock and disappointment. After 13 hours in the rain Tuesday to come home and watch that...to say I felt sick to my stomach would be an understatement.

Today my resolve is back a bit. And frankly to me the gay marriage amendments passing all over is just as or more upsetting than Bush being elected. This isn't about democrat versus republican. It isn't about Bush vs. Kerry. People are all talking about reforming the Democratic Party. What do we have to do to win? Fuck the Democratic Party and fuck winning. This is bigger than all that. This is the age long battle from ignorance and superstition to reason and compassion. It's the same battle we fought to form America. The same battle to free the slaves...for civil rights...for women's right to vote.

The fight is against the same type of people. The people who are in the Taliban, the Islamic extremists, dictators, kings, communists, the bigots, the religious right. All cut from the same cloth. And it's about people who for some reason or another (usually based on some book somewhere: The Bible, Communist Manifesto, etc etc) believe they know what's right and are intent on making others live that way. It's the same mentality that won't let gays marry each other, makes women wear veils over their face, makes black people ride in the back of the bus, and lines Jews up at concentration camps. And anyone who says it's not the same mentality is full of shit. It's a matter of degree not a matter of mindset. As MLK said:

"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal."

We have to take words back and use them. This IS about morals and values. But we need to join that debate fiercely and talk about what our morals are. We have got to stop letting the right own that debate and say what we think we need to say to compete there. Fuck traditional morals and values. This is a progressive world. The very nature of our universe is progressive. People who fight for the traditional lose. Kings fought to keep power, it was traditional. It was traditional to own slaves. We need to turn the debate to TRUE morals and freedoms. Let's drag bigotry, close mindedness, lying, selfishness, fear and greed out into the open and call it what it is. We need to take this moral debate head on. We need to take the words morals, values, faith, and freedom back. We need to stop them perverting the words of our forefathers, who created this country, for their own narrow-minded uses. We need to learn more about our country, our history and teach people the truth. Washington and Jefferson, despite the incredibly out of context quotes that conservatives drag out, did not want a theocracy. They did not want a government that was Christian. There are mountains of evidence to the contrary. We need to find that and bring it out. We need to talk about what Jesus really said. If he is going to be a focus point for values and morals then we need to stop letting those words be twisted. I'm not a Christian but there are lot's out there who are and who also believe in freedom and true values. Stop letting the right use your religion for its own fear based agenda.

This is about whether America is the land of the free or a theocracy. And right now they are winning.

But the good news is they will lose. They always do. It might take much longer than we want. Too many people have to suffer in the meantime but reason and compassion will prevail. Humanity is on a course towards reason, compassion and decency. We take steps back from time to time but we are evolving and moving forwards.

The numbers look bad according to the election. But more people voted than ever before. More people were active on the progressive front than ever before. Millions and millions truly do believe in freedom, not Bush's perverted sense of it, but true freedom.

We need to find ways to build an infrastructure like the religious right has. They have churches and the whole support communication network that entails. We need something similar. We have to look at what that culture offers people. Why they embrace it and become so fervent. What can we learn?

But it's time to stop calling this Republican or Democrat. It's not about that, and right now it's not about jobs, the economy or even Iraq. Those are all symptoms of something deeper.

People have said the soul of the nation is at stake and they are right. Bush likes to say they hate us for our freedom. That is patently wrong. He may very well believe that....but they hate us for our limiting of others freedom as well. Our sense that we always know what is best for everyone is what they hate. And why? Because we act the same as they do. The great irony is that we have created our own Taliban of sorts.

Of the women who started fighting for women's right to vote not a one of them lived to see the day where they could cast a vote. Truth, compassion, values and justice take a long time in certain cases but they will always prevail. But we have to frame the debate around those words. We need to take them back and own them. It's time for empty hate and rhetoric to stop. But we have to stop it first.

We can’t quit or go lie in a hole. Moving solves nothing….we need to lick our wounds and come back stronger and know that truth and justice are on our side. We need to be smarter. We need to stop treating this as political. There is a political component but it’s much more that that. The right has united behind a common message, we have not been so clear.

Anyways….enough of that.

I’m off to see Paul Westerberg in Minneapolis for the weekend. A chance to see something real and true in a world where that is more and more rare.

Election

I haven't had time to post in awhile. I've been working nearly non stop on the election. Ohio is so close that it's going to come down to turnout so I'm out trying to make sure Kerry supporters get out there. If you'd like to help let me know.

Friday AM

I'm off to Niches this afternoon. Got a boxing session at 11AM before I go.

I went and saw The Briefs last night at Bernie's. They were great as always. I liked the LA shows better but that mostly has to do with it not being Bernie's.

My friend Steve's relentless Russell teasing goes on. Funny....

Just finshed a great book. The Inner Circle by TC Boyle. He is an amazing author. His ability to totally create worlds and populate them with realistic characters is outstanding. His last book Drop City was about a group of hippies and the Inner Circle is about the famous "Kinsey Reports". There seems to be nothing he can't write. And his short stories are excellent.

Not much else to add I guess.

The shortcomings of cellphones and how procrasitination landed me in the slammer

"I fight authority...
Authority always wins"

Cougar/Mellencamp

I'm a jackass. Let's get that on the record now. If there was an emoticon that pictured twin donkey ears I’d insert it here. Everything that follows is no one's fault but mine.

I got a traffic ticket a ways back that I mostly forgot about. And when I did think about it I was traveling or broke. I scheduled this Friday off work to go take care of it because...you see my license had been revoked and a bench warrant out for my arrest.

Lovely, 34 yrs old and still with bench warrants.

So I’m driving home last night through Worthington. Driving slowly, because I'm concerned of course…just let me get to Friday.

I see a police office turn around behind me and start following. I'm nervous of course but I know I wasn't speeding. I turn into my little complex of 12 condos and on go the sirens.

"Shit"

Pulls into my complex sirens a blazing:

"License, registration, proof of insurance please. Do you know why I stopped you?"

Cause it's a cruel and godless universe I offer...in my head

"No officer, I don't"

Did I mention I'm pulled up in front of my house? 10ft away is the front door. Adrienne is inside waiting for me. I'm sure she's nervous as hell by now. But I still hold out hope...this is Worthington, I'm at my house, it's just a traffic violation, I'm a decent guy.

When the other four police cars roll in I know that things have taken a definite turn for the worse. My neighbor, who I had just seen with her four kids 10 minutes ago at the grocery, comes rolling to find the driveway blocked by police cars...sirens flashing.

"Please step out of the car sir"

Frisked, felt up and cuffed. Uh...does anyone remember it's a traffic ticket?

Led back to the car put in the backseat, hands still cuffed behind me. Ever try and sit down with your hands, palms together, cuffed together? That's why everyone you see in the backseat of a police car is leaning forward. And here I always thought it was anticipation.

It's important to note that I am in pretty good spirits considering. I have years of training in the "grant me serenity to accept the things I can't change" school and this was definitely out of control. Plus you screw up enough in life you start to get used to it. And as has often been said, laughter and humor is medicine to the absurdity and suffering of life.

So it becomes clear that they are taking me downtown. For awhile they said maybe I could just pay them. But nope I got to go down. Now here I sit cuffed, hands falling asleep thinking...crap. But I’m trying to consider it an experience. I hear that that Adrienne can come bail me out. And I’m thinking.....bail? bail? that goes with......jail?? (Rhymes also)

So we sit with lights flashing for 30 minutes for the entire neighborhood. Thinking I have to tell Jordan cause the neighbor kids will if I don’t. At one point, as the officer fills out the mountain of paperwork I say:

“Uh…I’d be glad to drive while you fill those out officer”

Hoping for a joke…some rapport….wait for reaction.

Laughter. Okay, things improving. Maybe he’ll make this go fast when we are there. We chat most of the way down and slowly it emerges that indeed he is taking me to the county jail where I will be admitted. And he has no idea how it works. None at all. But we have a nice conversation. I at one point mention that I am getting nervous. I also add:

“if I end up here for 20 days and get beaten and raped I’m going to feel much less friendly towards you.”

I also ask him if from one cop to another he can tell these folks I’ve been a decent fellow, he’ll try he says. We pull up to the County Jail garage, he announces a drop off and up goes the door and then down behind us. Small room with maintenance equipment, ladders.

My brain helpfully pipes in, “you know they could beat you here. No one would know. They could fuck you with a broomstick”. Easy big guy, easy. And I’m laughing a bit as I say it.

I’d like to tell you that having a bit of a past in this regard and with my boxing prowess (ha) that I’m not nervous. But truth is I am, not terribly…not scared but apprehensive.

In we go to a roomful of chaos. Reminded me of the scenes in an ER show where they roll you in through the doors and all sorts of shit is going on. Men lined up on benches, officers all over, yelling from here and there. Locking doors and holding tanks. Yep this is jail alright.

“Come up to the counter, take off your shoes and socks, spread wide and put your hands on the counter.” A more thorough frisk than the last one.

“Follow me please”

Ok….I follow to the…clothing room? No, surely not. Yes.

Now it starts to get weirder. I walk into the clothing room and am asked to strip. And as I’m doing it the cop across the counter is yelling “One one thousand, two one thousand….counting fast. Now I don’t know what number I’m supposed to get this done under. Then of course as I get to the pants I warn the man:

”I don’t wear underwear” No reaction….
”nine one thousand…ten one”

So they always warn you to wear clean underwear. “What if you’re in a crash?” What if you were driving home from the store, then an hour later you are standing naked in the clothing room of the local jail with no underwear? There’s no pithy maxim or advice for that that I’m aware of.

Then he hands me my new “clothes”….I doubt that’s what they call them. Uniform? Salmon colored sandals, a pretty nice pair of blue slightly denim-ish pants. They fit well. Hell I’d wear these on the streets, if I ever get free….lol.

Make my one phone call…to Adrienne. She is on her way to post bail, shouldn’t be long now.

Then it’s to the holding cell. I’m terrible with size but let’s just leave it at the room wasn’t real big, about 8 of us in there. Usual jailhouse situation (really I’m no expert but the basic principles are easy to grasp. And the basic principle is, as far as I can tell: “GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE”. )

So with the police I’m trying to be this friendly, professional suburban guy so they won’t put me in here. Now I’m thinking, time for a change of role. Most of the guys are staring off into space, not wanting to be noticed or bothered. A few guys bantering on with the usual…

”what you in here for?”

“Hell if that was my charges I’d be fucking glad. Happy, I’d do a fucking jig…motherfucker…(bob hands around like a rapper). They got me at my girl’s house…fucking 247 days on the shelf. I don’t care…fuck em motherfuckers”

Jittery, semi elderly, black crack addict interjects here and there with mostly indecipherable jabber. I can occasionally pick out “stem” “lighter” “fucking make a party of this joint”

Next to me is a truly old man…drunk,scruffy, probably homeless who wakes up periodically and says something.

“Motherfucker over there…” Pointing at old drunk “he got an open container charge, fuck $45 and he’s out. Shit man…that’s fucking (hand simulates action) a jerk off charge. I got fucking 247 days on the fucking shelf” He’s bobbing and weaving walking around. If there’s anyone to worry about in here it’s him. But I’m not ignoring him. I’m engaging, making a friend…I hope. But I’ll be out any minute. The door will open.

Drag me out to put on the wrist band with my mug shot. Nice. I’ll send that home for the holidays. As the female officer leads me back into the holding cell I ask her casually:

“If someone is posting bond now how long should it take”

In my head I’m thinking an hour at worst…

“6 to 8 hours”

Huh? What…why that’s 4AM or 6 AM...why….that’s all night. Figuring screaming or crying wasn’t going to get me high respect marks from my homies, I settle back into the cell. Now it’s a whole new ballgame. An hour is almost fun. Check the folks out, think about what a laugh this will be when Chris, Jon and Adrienne and I have a drink later.

8 hours is another thing entirely. In this room? Turns out no….off we go. I am handed my plastic cup, with toothbrush, toothpaste and, to drive home the overnight thing, a blanket. Loaded on the elevator, taken up to the cell block. Oh, did I mention…..this is a traffic ticket? Our hard earned tax dollars at work.

The cell block is about 12 cells in a row and a walkway in front of them with a TV on the other side of the bars, a few phones. I find my “cell” and settle in for a second. I’m feeling as relieved as you can about an unforseen night in jail because at least with a cell I’ve got a place to be alone, lay down, weep for my mother…that kind of thing. Really though as I mentioned I’m in good spirits. But I’m a little concerned about all night, because I can’t sleep with any disturbances. My son coughs in the other room and I’m up. So sleep seems unlikely.

I’ll make some phone calls. Chat with my friends. Tell Adrienne I’m ok. I’m sure she’s freaking if they told her I’d be in for 8 hours. I’m ok…I’m fine but she doesn’t know. I almost feel worse for her.

Collect calls only….ok. You must dial the number and then type in your case number lightening fast. Takes me a few try’s to get it.

“This number is restricted”

Shit. Try Jon’s….

“This number is…” Shit, hang up. Of course, cell phones don’t take collect calls and everyone I know has a cell phone. They don’t have home phones and if they do I have no idea the number. Oh I love cell phones in general. Think they are helpful, useful but someone needs to do something about this. Where was Verizon when I needed them? “Still working….my ass”

Well let’s go watch some TV. It’s harder to see with bars in the way. And in jail, even in jail with nothing else to do TV sucks and I leave after a few minutes figuring I’ll come back and watch Conan in an hour or so.

Back to the cell, I need to sleep. I’m tired, slept terribly the night before. Lie down and pull my blanket up and try. Nope…back up. Brush teeth, drink water. Lay back down.

The conversation on my head:

“Om mani padme hung” (trying to meditate a bit, maybe fall asleep and avoid thoughts like..)

“ What if you are stuck here for days”
“ No you’ll be out soon”
“God my bed would be nice, Adrienne there.”
“Om mani padme hung”
drifting….SLAM…

Some unknown noise. Back to it…

“Om mani padme hung”
“I hope Chris, Jon and Adrienne are out having a drink and making a toast. “To Eric getting out of the slammer”. Smile. Put it in the book.
“God I can’t afford this. I’m such an idiot. Got to pay Jordan’s school…”
“Om mani padme hung”
Drifting…

You get the idea. Time 11:15…expected release time 4-6AM. Sigh…

Up and walk. Back to bed….

Back in bed….mind still all over. Writing a song in my head titled aptly enough “Hey Hey I did it again”

“Om mani padme hung”
Drifting….

“ZIMMER……ZIMMER.”

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
William Shakespeare

My ass sweet ass William….Oh how sweet the sound of your own name. A sound like no other.

Officer says: “rgwgrwrgwrgwgg” (Imagine peanuts teacher voice except yelled by a jailer.

“Grab your mat, all your stuff”

Out we go. I ask, just to be sure: “I’m going home?”

“Yeah”

Back down to the main room. Back to the clothes room…change clothes, gather my things.

“Any chance of me keeping this pretty bracelet so I can hang it up as a reminder not to be a jackass?”

Nope, of course not. Led out one door. Waiting in front of the other to open. Out into a small lobby…see the exit door. And outside...sweet fresh air. Light mist…reasonable temperature, dark but it’s outside. I can walk, use my phone, and go get food. Call Adrienne. She’s on her way.

Get the run down on the bail bondsman she had to get. We have to go by and get my picture taken. He’s not there. Back to my house, and I’ll be damned if you don’t feel like some sort of party or celebration getting out of jail but it’s late. We hang out, I toast being out of jail. And my bed does feel good…..so good…so good.

“I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it, since I was a young kid
I’ve come out grinnin’

Why some conservatives can't endorse Bush

In fairness they can't endorse Kerry either but it is very telling to see a conservative newspaper that has always endorsed the Republican candidate except for one time, choose not to endorse Bush. Their reasons are interesting and worth a read. Because for once it's not from people with dramatically different views or people that hate Bush and are willing to forgo honest debate for extremism. Yes, liberals I mean you...I mean us. We are as guilty as the right in polarizing the country. It's not good for anyone. So it's good to see articles like this.

Give me a fruitful error anytime, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections.

- Vilfredo Pareto

Updates

Back at work after being on the road 3 of the last 4 weeks. Although with the weather outside I'm ready to go back to Florida. Although there is always something slightly comfortable about listening to good music, drinking something warm and looking out the window as it rains. So grey.....so so grey.

Went to Niches this weekend. It was so good to be back there even though it was cold. It was a gathering to honor Lou and all he has done. I'm going back next weekend to act as a site coordinator. I'm so excited to have a whole weekend there in the fall. It has been too long. My last overnight visit was with Jordan and Adrienne and Damian and it was fun but not the same relaxing, thought changing experience it normally is.

I've also got Jordan and I signed up to spend a weekend there in November.

It will never be the same without Lou but it will have to do. (Ryhme just flows from me.)

If you have no idea what Niches is go look at the site. It won't make much sense because it is largely indescribable. I had heard lot's of people rave about it in these semi mystical terms. And I figured, yeah yeah yeah I'm sure it's nice, some cabins in the woods.

Then I went there when I a relationship ended. I was supposed to go to DC with her and it ended the day before so I had the time and I was feeling distraught. So I called up down there and went all by myself.

It's hard to explain how transformative two nights there could be. But I left a new man. And from then on I became obsessed with getting there as often as possible. I was there nearly every other weekend for awhile. Took Jordan with me a few times. Fell in love with the place and with Lou. Talk about your father figures......I went there alone weekend after weekend and really got more comfortable with me to use a dumb cliche. (Another ryhme?)

I got involved as a consultant and tried to help keep it open but the financial issues were too great. Lou got sick with luekemia again and the place closed for awhile. Thanks to the hard work of some very dedicated people they have got it open again. It's different, without Lou and his cooking, wisdom and comfort. But the connection to a place, the sense of nature and the very otherwordly sense of well being I get there remains.

So about the studio session at Workbook. I think it came out great. I'm very happy with the two songs we got done and we all had a great time. We all had fun being together and it worked wonderful. For a band that hadn't played in 6+ years we brought the rock...;)

Oh also....I'm so excited....but I have a boxing lesson on Friday. I'm making an effort to return to boxing. We'll see....

And the Exploding Hearts are amazing.

Ranting

Yes...this is going to be ranting.

At this conference....sometimes I truly feel like I must be selling my soul. I can handle all the gladhanding, all then cold calls, all the discussion. But the bands that they get to play the big "event" destroy me. I feel violated. Where do they dig these folks up? How can you take "My Girl" and reduce it to nothingness. Suck every bit of energy out of it. So I go next door to the next conference and their band and I hear a band doing a version of Jumping Jack Flash that even my sweet grandma in her grave could rock harder. I'm at the point where i'd take the worst of the Bernie's punk rock bands. Give me anything that resembles real feeling, real heart, real soul. Fuck.....

This is the sort of thing that makes me want to go drink whiskey...until I actually think it's tolerable.

Like the Sky Bar in Miami....I had to leave and go sit by the ocean for something real.

And the killer is that everyone there, my colleagues think it's fine. Think it's good. I feel so out of place sometimes.

Makes me want to really take the guitars away from these guys. And the sad thing is they can play much "better" than I can. Part of it has to be Florida.....the most souless state in America.

Ok...back to the agony....;)